FAYETTEVILLE — A local marriage guide is holding a signing for her newly published self-help book at Doyle’s Books in Fayetteville this evening, Sept. 21 from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.
Patricia Crane Ennis, a professional social worker credentialed in counseling who resides in Fayetteville, recently released “Marriage Is Easier When You Know How!,” a 246-page blueprint that’s meant to show what a healthy union looks like, help people understand what’s happening in their own marriages, and teach step by step how to navigate the daily challenges of married life.
Based on the 14 skills encompassed within the award-winning Third Option marriage program Ennis created in Syracuse in the 1980s, the book makes for a fitting bridal shower present or wedding gift, Ennis said, but really it’s geared toward “virtually anybody and everybody” seeking to either learn something new, glean tips on being a better spouse in the face of obstacles, or just make their already strong, healthy marriage blossom even more than before—from newlyweds to people who have been married for decades and everyone in between.
“I just really think anybody who’s married can find something in here that’s going to help them,” Ennis said. “It’s very practical, and it integrates all the best research and knowledge into one holistic framework. You don’t need a Ph.D. to understand any of this either, and it’s not like taking a course.”
She said it’s a conversational, upbeat and breezy read written in the first person that’s not overly scholarly or complicated in its structure, adding that it can serve as a reference book of sorts for people to keep handy and go back to whenever they please.
“This is a book for regular people with normal, everyday problems that they might not know how to handle if nobody’s ever showed them how,” Ennis said. “When you think about it, to drive a car we have to read a book, learn the rules of the road and take an actual road test in order to get our license, but how does anybody learn how to be married? As a counselor, I concluded that we needed to teach couples the skills that they need, and do it in a supportive atmosphere.”
Ennis, a recipient of the International Smart Marriages Impact Award, had developed the Third Option method and directed its national organization over the course of 30 years prior to retiring and turning the program over to others, but not before it spread to other states and even outside the country.
That program looks at all aspects of marriage and shows how to create one’s own personal plan of action by practicing and applying what are called its 14 essential skills of marriage, from achieving respect, balancing personality differences and reckoning with the past to dealing with hurt, maintaining trust and establishing proper communication.
The chapters of “Marriage Is Easier…” reflect the teachings of that program, but it’s not an abridged or reproduced version of the 360-page manual Ennis wrote in 1988 as a directive for leaders of Third Option groups. Rather, the book was made available this summer as a way to share her expertise and life’s work, its contents padded with tried-and-true advice and sprinkled with specific couples stories stripped of names so the anecdotes can’t be connected back to the identity of any one person.
Told time and time again she should write a book on marriage, partly because the Third Option program doesn’t have groups everywhere, Ennis wanted to make the end result a compilation of each of the different difference-making marriage skills that entire books have been devoted to, except with hers they would be presented in one accessible package instead of separately.
After all, she “knows how” herself, having been married to her husband, Bryan, since 1968. In addition to building a successful bond of 50-plus years with him, Ennis said Bryan was “wonderfully supportive” throughout the process of writing the book, as was her whole family.
Through the many hours of writing, she said another thing that kept her going was envisioning people picking up the book and finding usefulness in it, whether mere weeks or numerous years after walking down the aisle and tying the knot. All in all, though, she simply saw its completion page by page as a “labor of love,” just like marriage itself.
This evening at Doyle’s Books, which she calls a “local gem” that always seeks to assist new authors in the community, Ennis will sign discounted copies of “Marriage Is Easier When You Know How!” and possibly read passages from it too, with attendees of the event having the chance to ask her any questions they wish. The shop is located at 225 Brooklea Drive in Fayetteville.
For more information about Ennis and her newly released book, visit marriageiseasier.com.
