By Jason Gabak
Rachael Ristau, founder of the Fayetteville Memory Garden, began the garden more than a decade ago.
What started as a very personal project has since turned into something embraced by many in the community, taking on unique meanings to everyone who visits.
“I started in 2009 and now more than 10 years late I still can’t believe that it really happened,” Ristau said. “It is still going and a part of the community and is a memorial or a place for grief or for memories. It means something different for everyone who comes here.”
The community has shown just how much the memory garden means in many ways.
Some go there to honor their loved ones, some go there to mark special moments in their lives, some have also celebrated their marriage ceremonies in the garden.
“It is here for what anyone needs,” Ristau said.
This past week people showed their support by lending a helping hand with the annual green up, a clean up event that Ristau said has had great support from the community.
“We usually do something in May,” Ristau said. “But with COVID and social distancing and all the regulations we didn’t want to do anything in May.”
As the weather has improved and restrictions on gathering have eased a little, Ristau decided it was time to hold the annual clean up while taking the necessary precautions with masks and social distancing while also greening up the memory garden.
Ristau said it has been encouraging year after year to see the support the community has given to the garden.
Last week 22 volunteers gave their time to the garden. Eight of those volunteers were lending their support for the first time, Ristau said.
In addition Cross Creek Nursery donated all the flowers, which Ristau said the nursery does every year.
Whether it is lending volunteer hours weeding, planting and cleaning up or with donations, Ristau said the support people show demonstrates how much the garden has become a part of the community.
“We continuously get new visitors, it has a whole timeline of its own,” Ristau said. “It is great people support this. Some years we have five people, some years we have 45 people. It is great to see the way people support what we are doing here.”
Ristau was inspired to start the memory garden after her father passed.
“I started a grief support group at Wellwood Middle School when I was a freshman in high school,” Ristau wrote on the newly launched memory garden website. “The group was, and still continues to be, about understanding grief, remembering, memorializing and creating a safety net; it’s an almost family-like atmosphere where we remind each other that it’s OK to be sad, to cry, to grieve, and talk about your feelings. But that it’s also OK to be happy, too. Early on, a parent of one of the students at Wellwood suggested creating a memory garden. The idea of having a place where people could go to remember their loved ones, reflect and find comfort quickly became the driving force behind the project. In October of 2011 this vision finally became a reality and a special place where we could come together as a community and share a common bond of peace was created.”
With the seed of an idea, Ristau met with Mayor Mark Olson and the board of trustees.
Along with support from the village, Ristau said, many others, architects, engineers and volunteers from high schoolers to seniors and everyone in between also stepped into show their support.
“Once I got their support, I began working with volunteers and local contractors to build the garden adjacent to the Fayetteville Senior Center on Route 5 in Fayetteville,” Ristau wrote. “Finally, we established a not-for-profit organization with M&T Bank helping us establish the appropriate account for donations and raised the funds to make the project possible. Over the years, Dalpos Architects & Integrators, Hueber Breuer Construction Co. Inc., O’Brien & Gere Engineering, Allied, J&J Landscaping, Cross Creek Nursery, J.K. Tobin, Paragon Pavers and Byrnes Brothers have graciously volunteered their design and management services to help make and keep this garden a reality.”
Ristau said she hopes the garden is a place where people feel safe to express and experience grief and sadness when they need to, but also a place where people can feel joy and remember happy, special moments as well.
“It is here to be what people in the community need it to be,” Ristau said.
Ristau encourages anyone interested in helping with clean up to do so, keeping the guidelines on social distancing and face coverings in mind.
“We usually have trowels and tools,” Ristau said. “Right now we ask people to bring their own.”
Ristau said there are opportunities to do plantings or even purchase a tree as a memorial to a loved one.
“Brick pavers, benches, trees, lighting, pergolas, a landscape wall or a water feature can all be engraved in memory/honor of someone,” Ristau wrote.
If interested in a doing a planting Ristau asks that people contact her in advance just to ensure the planting is not something people may be allergic to or may need to be planted in a specific manner such as direct or indirect light for example.
But she said interest is always welcome and anyone can volunteer even an hour or so here and there to help.
For more information visit fayettevillememorygarden.org.
Another green up event is planned for Thursday, July 16, from 3 to 7 p.m.
