Fighting the bees

This was a very quiet morning as I looked across the lake to the east.

The lake was like a glass-topped table.

There appeared to be a bit of breeze on the east side and a layer of fog close to the shore. The air temperature outside my window was 54 degrees at about 8 a.m. and I tried to figure out what was causing the ripples on the east side.

My only guess was that the morning sun had warmed the water and a narrow band of shoreline when it shone down at a low angle from the east. It apparently did not warm the side of the hill, so a bit of shore breeze was generated close to the shore and this helped to create fog when it passed over areas not yet warmed.

How’s that for a weather fairytale from a mile away?

My grandson Evan was arranging my aluminum rowboat on a hoist at my north dock and was stung by a smallish avenger that looked like a mini yellow jacket.

He said there was a nest under the bottom tread of the staircase. This stairway is a very well-engineered one which was crafted by Scoop Baker some years ago.

The gangplank for access to my dock is retained by some screws into this bottom stair tread. It appears that walking on the dock passes vibrations to the step and the many yellow avengers rise up for a fight and buzz around in attack mode.

Several days later, when a nice large hunk of redheaded target moved along the plank and started up the stairs, they moved in as a great cloud around my body. I beat it for the house, but they had encircled me and started chewing on any exposed spots.

They even seemed to be able to penetrate my thin shirt and khaki trousers. I am sure my retreat resembled a cartoon character being pursued by a solid line of wasps across the landscape. They are often shown as a solid stream of avengers coming out of a hive or hole in the ground.

By the time I got into the house and disrobed behind closed doors, there were a lot of avengers on the floor. I sneaked out the door, leaving them buzzing around.

I gave them a light shot of Sure Shot bee spray and closed the door. They stung like yellow jackets, but seemed to be a bit shorter than a bee.

I think they got me 12 to 15 times on the head and arms.

I returned about an hour later and swept up twenty-one dead critters.

Apparently the spray was very effective in a small room. I have been told that final removal involves a Shop Vac that can pluck them right out of the air. It would take a long cord to reach the site, so I might try my small battery Shop Vac.

It might have enough air velocity to suck them in. Or, it may just warm them up for another go at the big sweet Joe.

I have been waging bee wars for years.

The following morning I was out at first light, well covered and topped off with a WWII netted hat. I think the hat was for Pacific island bugs and stinging insects found in forts in the United States South.

I sprayed and broke up the nest. I’ve sprayed twice since, but still seem to have a few survivors daring me to use my stairs.

I am not hysterical about large groups of bees or wasps.

I have removed lots of them for neighbors and friends. I removed one hive hanging from a small fruit tree that was about 30 inches long and 15 inches in diameter.

That was a master stroke. I simply slipped a large plastic bag over the hive full of sleepy bees at 5 a.m. and tied it off while the all the insects were still sound asleep.

I cut it out of the fruit tree and deposited it in my big old chest deep-freeze. After two days, there seemed to be no life when it warmed up, so I donated it to the high school science department.

Everyone was jittery about undoing the twist tie so that the hive could be cut to expose the engineered structure inside. After a weekend in the hot classroom no signs of life appeared, so science moved on.

It has been about five days since I got nailed and some spots still itch, but the itching will probably stop by Saturday.

I had a sharp zip of pain, but I didn’t develop any of the big red welts that I often get when I am stung. More news will follow next week.