I am trying to do something.

So, I am making tea biscuits this afternoon.  It’s my grandmother’s recipe, a measured version of the way she was taught to make these scones by her mother.  As I assemble the dry ingredients:  4 cups of flour, 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of sugar and 4 tablespoons of baking powder, I am trying to sooth my mind of the visions I have of the hundreds of thousands, now a million Ukranians, mostly women an children who are fleeing the unspeakable war inflicted on their country by the geopolitical aims of one man, one evil remake of Stalin, of Hitler.   These women should be in their homes with their children, their spouses their pets, the comfort of their lives measured by making their version of tea biscuits,  something that is comforting, safe and ordinary.

As I add the wet ingredients, 2 eggs, 1 cup (more or less) of milk, my heart goes out to the courageous men and women who have stayed behind to face the enormous war machine of Russia.  Television has shown us women weaving camouflage nets, breweries converting to Molotov cocktail factories, professional men becoming creators of metal objects to stop tanks.  I saw a people mobilizing to protect their homeland, telling the camera that they are willing to die for their country.

As I added 1 cup of currants, I thought of the picture of a captured Russian soldier, being given food and a  phone to call his mother…and I also saw a dead child, killed by a Russian missile.

Mixing the wet into the dry ingredients is one of feel.  The aim is to make a biscuit dough that can be patted or rolled out to ¼ to ½  inch thick…I am sad at the devastation that has already taken place, that sick children, closeted in the deep basement of the hospital to keep them relatively safe, that citizens have stayed to help neighbors, volunteer in hospitals, see to the care of abandoned animals … all such exemplary examples of a measure of heroic goodness in the face of Putin’s evil.

My grandmother used a very large cookie cutter to cut the biscuits,  but mine will be smaller.  And I know that the smaller and less provisioned Ukrainian military, promised material assistance by NAT0, is at a disadvantage compared with the enormous number of men and weapons massed by the Russians now circling major cities. And I saw the President of Ukraine refuse escape and stay to weather the war and lead his people.

I’ll bake the biscuits in a 350 degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes.  I will check often to make sure that they are cooked.  As I check the news to see what is happening because this war is my war too.  I have lived for 81 years through many conflicts and sadly have never been able to see clearly why it is happening, especially when war is one of aggression, seizing control of another nation, its people and its way of life.  This is not a retaliatory strike but an assault not only on territory but on democracy, on humanity …      by a bully autocrat.

As I  enjoy eating a tea biscuit with a cup of tea,  I am also thinking of the Russian soldiers who have been sent to this peaceful country, becoming the hands and feet of the despicable ambitions of one man  …killing, destroying their souls compromised by their orders.

My head and my soul  are troubled by the continuing idiocy of war remembering the song sung by the Kingston Trio in the early 1960s, when I was young and watched young men go to war in Vietnam.

“Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls picked them, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone
Long time passing

Where have all the young men gone
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone
Gone to soldiers, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone
A long, long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone
Gone to graveyards, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone
Gone to flowers, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?”

And today, all I can do is make tea biscuits.