By Ashley M. Casey
Staff Writer
“The world can be a nasty place. You know it, I know it, yeah. We don’t have to fall from grace. Put down the weapons you fight with,” sings pop star Selena Gomez, “and kill ‘em with kindness.”
Baker High School senior Madison Wolfanger likens his Participation in Government/Economics class group’s project to Gomez’s recent hit, “Kill ‘Em with Kindness.” Wolfanger and his classmates, Amber Edwards, Kierra Searle and Kayla Nadelen, decided to spread uplifting messages throughout the school and support the work of STOMP Out Bullying, an organization that “focuses on reducing and preventing bullying, cyberbullying, sexting and other digital abuse.”
The group sold candy bars branded with STOMP Out Bullying’s logo and the phrase “Don’t be mean behind the screen.” While they raised about $40, the students said it was important to be able to direct kids to STOMP Out Bullying’s confidential HelpChat Line and other educational resources.
“What we tried to do was get people to buy two so they could keep one for themselves and pay it forward,” Wolfanger said.
They also wrote positive notes — “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle” and “Throw kindness around like confetti” are among the messages — and stuck them to lockers and classroom doors. Edwards said she left a card on her friend’s locker, and the friend gushed about the nice note, unaware that Edwards and her classmates were responsible.
“Cyberbullying is a pretty big issue this year in our school, especially with Twitter and Instagram,” Nadelen said.
In addition to in-person teasing, teens are using social media apps to spread rumors and put down their peers. Many of these apps, such as Yik Yak and After School, allow users to remain anonymous.
“There’s an app called After School where people talk crap about other people,” Searle said.
Wolfanger said hiding behind a screen makes bullies braver, so abusive talk online has become “second nature.” Now that students often use their smartphones on campus, cyberbullying has spilled over into the school day.
“It happens more than you think it does. You see it all the time,” Wolfanger said.
Searle said by the time senior year rolls around, students have learned to “walk away,” but freshmen and sophomores especially struggle with being bullied.
“I think most of the kids stay quiet about it and act like it doesn’t bother them,” she said.
But bullying, whether in person or on the web, does bother kids. According to stopbullying.gov, kids who have been bullied are more susceptible to depression and anxiety, low self-esteem, dropping grades and physical health complaints. Bullies themselves are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs, enter abusive relationships and commit crimes.
The issue of suicide recently has come into focus in Baldwinsville with the death of 15-year-old Paige Bird in March. The PIG students said health and psychology classes at B’ville only cover depression and other mental health problems at a minimum.
“Every 100 minutes a teen commits suicide. Every two hours and 11 minutes a person under the age of 25 dies by suicide,” STOMP Out Bullying’s website reads.
Nadelen said kids who bully others may be dealing with depression or a difficult home life.
“They think it’s the only way to make themselves feel better, [but] it takes so much less energy to be nice,” she said.
“What should make you feel good about yourself is giving, helping people,” Wolfanger said.
The students in Ms. Campbell’s PIG class want their classmates to reach out to those who are being bullied by engaging them in conversation, offering a smile and intervening when they witness someone bullying a classmate.
“I think that’s something we should spread more — to stand up for other people,” Edwards said.
Kids should report bullying — whether they experience it or witness it — to a teacher, principal or guidance counselor. The district offers mediation for student conflicts, and some social networks are blocked on the school’s Wi-Fi network. Wolfanger said the district takes cyberbullying incidents seriously, and having screenshots of abusive messages can provide proof.
“If you see someone being bullied — even if they’re not your friend, even if you hated them in middle school — you should open your mouth,” Searle said.
To learn more about cyberbullying and how to talk to your family about it, visit stompoutbullying.org.
