By Ashley M. Casey

Staff Writer

By all accounts, Paige Bird was a funny girl.

At color guard practice, Paige cracked jokes to help her exhausted and sweaty teammates press on. She strolled around her home with an umbrella, affecting an English accent. She had dreams of following her older brother into the Marines — “He did it; I know I can do it better,” she said — and wanted to be an actress. Paige’s antics kept her friends, parents, two sisters and three brothers in stitches.

“We used to be the perfect ‘Brady Bunch’ — without the nanny,” said Carrie Martineau, Paige’s mother.

Sadly, and suddenly, 15-year-old Paige ended her life March 21. Her family and friends said there were no warning signs.

“It just hit us like a wrecking ball,” Martineau said.

Paige’s family celebrated her memory at a candlelight vigil May 6 in Lysander Park, where they announced “Paige’s Law,” a proposal that would require schools to educate students and families about mental illness and suicide.

“Every school needs to have yearly presentations to educate our students, parents, and community members about suicide and mental illness,” reads the Paige’s Law petition on change.org. “Every school needs to give students an item (message card, yellow ribbon, etc.) that they can hand to an adult if they need help, but don’t know how to ask for it.”

Dozens of classmates, friends, color guard teammates and family members huddled in the rain at Lysander Park, sheltering their small white candles from the weather as Martineau and Stand Against Suicide Vice President Dory Curry told Paige’s story and introduced Paige’s Law.

“Tonight is to remember the light that she shone through and that she’s going to continue to shine,” Martineau said.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the second-leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15 and 34. The CDC also found that 17 percent of high school students “seriously considered attempting suicide in the previous 12 months,” and 8 percent of high schoolers had attempted suicide in the last year.

Curry said mental illness is “not selective” — it’s common and can happen to anyone. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) said one in four adults in the U.S. deals with mental illness in a given year, and one in five teenagers suffer from severe mental disorders in a given year.

“It is time for the stigma associated with mental illness and suicide to end,” Curry said.

‘My perfect baby’

Paige’s siblings often joked that she was the “perfect one,” with her perfect teeth, perfect eyebrows and sunny attitude. Martineau called her “my perfect baby.”

Martineau spoke with Paige on the phone 15 minutes before she arrived home to find her daughter dead. They talked about their plans to get their ears pierced. Martineau remembers Paige saying, “Yay, I can’t wait!”

In the weeks since Paige’s death, the family has sought help from SAS peer support groups and private counseling. Martineau and Curry are on a committee to help the Baldwinsville Central School District develop a mental illness education program.

“After Paige’s death, there was no crisis response with the Baldwinsville school district,” Martineau said.

At the March 28 school board meeting, Curry said students had told SAS that while counselors were available after Paige’s death, “[students] were left to feel alone and are struggling to cope with the loss of their friend.”

Tapaingga Bird, 16, is keenly feeling the loss of her “Irish twin” — Paige was born just 11 months after Tapaingga. The two were best friends and often spent their nights talking about what their future lives would look like. During color guard practice, when they were supposed to be quietly stretching, Tapaingga and Paige would communicate via sign language.

Returning to school after Paige’s death was difficult. Tapaingga used to walk her sister to her classes every day.

“It’s hard to go to school because I can’t walk her to class. We did everything together,” Tapaingga said. “I felt like something was ripped out of me.”

Tapaingga said the district has given her a flexible schedule and other accommodations in the wake of Paige’s death, but Martineau, SAS and even Paige’s classmates say the district needs to do more to prevent suicide.

“I think they should set up a stronger program for counselors so they’re more open to kids coming down and talking to them,” said Rachel Blake, Paige’s color guard teammate.

Blake said Paige was “a wonderful person” who went out of her way to help others.

Martineau said Paige never cared what others thought about her; her motto was “Be yourself … don’t hide.”

“Unfortunately, I believe my daughter hid behind herself to make everyone around her happy,” Martineau said, “and it ended in tragedy.”

Ending the stigma

Martineau said her family has always been very open. Her children could come to her with any problem.

“That’s what surprised us about Paige — she didn’t feel safe [opening up],” Martineau said. “At that moment, she must have felt alone.”

Martineau said the idea that her child couldn’t tell her if she was feeling depressed and alone scares her. She wants parents and school officials to be proactive and maintain a dialogue with kids so they aren’t afraid to seek help.

“Have one more conversation,” Martineau urged parents. “If [your child is] feeling odd or something different, it’s not a bad thing to get help.”

Curry said she and Martineau met with school district officials May 5 to discuss the development of a mental illness education program. She said the district is seeking help from outside agencies to educate the administration before they can move forward with a program for students.

While SAS announced late last month that it is closing its doors Dec. 31, Curry said the organization’s peer support groups will continue and she will keep working with Paige’s family and the district until B’ville rolls out its mental illness education program.

“I just want mental health to be on the same level as physical health,” Curry said. “Parents need to realize it’s just as important.”

Martineau said Paige always stood up for people who were being bullied, so she’s standing up for her daughter.

“She was so strong,” Martineau said. “She’d be very proud of me for sticking up for others to stop the stigma.”

As Martineau braved the rain to speak at the candlelight vigil, a rainbow appeared faintly in the sky above her. Someone in the crowd said, “Tears from heaven.”

If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, don’t hesitate to get help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit crisischat.org to talk with a trained Lifeline Crisis Chat specialist. If you’re in immediate danger of harming yourself, call 911.