Our weird weather reminds me of that classic Twilight Zone episode in which people go mad with heat fever as the sun grows ever closer to earth. Then, the main character — a lovely blond — wakes from the nightmare only to find that the whole world is actually freezing, as the globe orbits further and further from its source.
That’s what it’s getting to be like around here: six months of hail and humidity and six months of shivering winter. Even our usually balmy autumns have been defiled by cold rain and smeared by snowfalls.
The sad thing is that we could do something about global warming, which is largely caused by carbon dioxide and methane fumes rising into the atmosphere. While the rest of the world puts their heads together to solve this threat to Mother Earth, the Bush administration doggedly refuses to acknowledge that global warming exists. We’re too busy fighting wars in faraway deserts.
It’s plenty hot over there too!
I’m not much of an environmentalist but I’m a realist.
The summer we’re suffering should be enough to convince us all about the existence of global warming. And I’m afraid these thunderstruck days and superhumid nights merely represent the tip of the iceberg (to wistfully and wishfully mix metaphors).
Although there’ve been a few sunny days with reasonable temperatures, most are either too hot to breathe or too wet to walk. They’re either shirt-soaked sweltering or filled with booming thunder, frightening lightning, enough rain to fill catchbasins and basements and winds strong enough to knock over trees and knock out power.
Woe is me when I can’t watch my Yankees on TV!
Sure, we’re used to bad weather in Upstate New York but this is ridiculous.
I used to mock the concept of Seasonal Affective Disorder — depression caused by lack of sunlight and gloomy weather — but now I’m beginning to believe it. In fact, I’m very SAD indeed.
[SkyChiefs wait it out]
Saturday’s storm also delayed the Syracuse SkyChiefs’ annual Wall of Fame induction ceremony and International League game against the Charlotte Knights.
Change of Pace tavernkeeper and former Major Leaguer Steve Grilli was signing autographs along with fellow ex-Chiefs Frank Tepedino and Alan Closter during the hour and 40-minute rain delay when someone pointed to the water-filled blue tarp over the Alliance Bank Stadium infield.
Isn’t this your cue to go run the bases, Steve? the guy asked.
Run the bases? Grilli grimaced.
He didn’t get the joke.
Back in the 1970s when he pitched for the Chiefs at MacArthur Stadium, Grilli was famous for acting up during rain delays — sliding all over the tarp and playing air-guitar on a baseball bat.
[Do actors rarely sin?]
Rarely Done Productions, which stages plays and musicals at Jazz Central, downtown, is conducting preliminary auditions for its 2006-2007 season from 7 to 9 p.m. on Monday and Tuesday Aug. 7 and 8, at Jazz Central, 441 E. Washington St.
RDP will be casting three shows, Never the Sinner, Agnes of God and Sin.
Sounds like a redemptive trilogy!
For information, visit www.rarelydone.org.
[Magnolias to bloom again]
Having reviewed thousands of concerts and club appearances over my 30-plus years covering show biz, rarely do I recommend an upcoming concert as a must-see affair. But next Saturday, Aug. 12, four Louisiana ladies known collectively as the Magnolia Sisters will perform a Cajun concert at the new Syracuse Center for the Performing Arts, 728 East Genesee St., kitty-corner and across the park from the Marx Hotel. You gotta catch this act!
The Cultural Resources Council will present the quartet at 8 p.m. Aug. 12. Tickets cost $15; 435-2155
One of the sisters, accordionist-vocalist Ann Savoy, has just released a duet CD with Linda Ronstadt.
For info, visit magnoliasisters.com/.
[Philatelic jeopardy!]
The Syracuse Stamp Club sticks together at 8 p.m. Friday Aug. 4, at the Reformed Church of Syracuse, 1228 Teall Ave. The program will be Philatelic Jeopardy!
For info, dial 468-3710, or visit www.syracusestampclub.org.
[Elvis lives!]
Syracuse author, film critic and playwright Doug Brode will speak about his newest book, Elvis Cinema and Popular Culture at 7 p.m. Wednesday Aug. 16, at Borders Books & Music, at Carousel Center. Elvis Presley died 29 years ago on that date at his Graceland home in Memphis, Tenn.
Meanwhile, Elvis fans can view two of the King’s best films, and one of his worst, Saturday Aug. 5, at The Palace Theater, in Eastwood. Tickle Me, a 1965 groaner pitting Elvis against a bevy of no-name beauties at an all-girl dude ranch, screens at 11 a.m., followed by Viva Las Vegas with Ann Margret at 1:30 p.m., and the unforgettable Jailhouse Rock at 4 p.m. Hosted by the Syracuse B-Movie Festival, the Elvis fest continues at 11 p.m. with a performance by rocker Jeff Jones and the cult film Bubba Ho-Tepp at midnight.
Admission costs $10 for daytime screenings, and $5 for the 11 p.m. shows; 652-3868.
