Ann Ferro: Time to exercise

Ok! OK! I get it. Exercise is good for you.
Really!
Experts tell you that it will help with everything from arthritis to Congressional gridlock, but, and here is the BIG but …some of us need help in finding exercise that is appropriate for one’s situation.
I just read an article about how long to hold a plank to get results. A plank? Are you kidding? I wonder how I would be able to get down to the floor on purpose. Maybe I could start by crawling up stairs and continuing that crawl once I go to the top? Then I would have to figure out how to hold my rather generous body up on my toes which are decidedly arthritic. Not an enticing picture. Do I crawl backwards down the stairs in order to be perpendicular to the floor again?
No, I think not! So what options to I have for planking, if that is a word? Maybe that wall pushup that someone once showed me would do? I’m really not sure. Planking maybe on that ship that has sailed.
Lifting weights? The last time I did that, I couldn’t lift my right arm passed my waist for two weeks . Off to the doctor and more physical therapy. Five pounds was too much to lift. Maybe two pounds or one plain donut?
Many “in the know” recommend walking. I love to walk… at least I used to love to walk. Well, I still love the idea of walking, but the fix that my ortho guy did on my right hip has limited walking big time and only with a cane. Without a cane, I tend to walk like a penguin and topple over. That fix was faux.
A lovely, thin friend of mine has suggested that I take up swimming. OMG! The last bathing suit (note I called it a bathing suit and not a swim suit which tells you something) I bought was when I was also thin and 25 years old. Aren’t there weight limits in pools? I do have some pride left.
I do try.
There has been some discussion on Facebook about whether tossing and turning in bed counts as exercise. If that’s true, I am making progress.
My excellent physical therapist, April Tucker, has given me some resistance activities that involve different colored stretch bands that I use religiously … or as often as I can remember where I put them. They are helping me regain some strength, particularly in a generally “I’m not sure where it is” place called the “core”.
Strengthening the core has something to do with what I used to describe to my anthropology classes as the brachiating stance. To brachiate means to swing in the trees with your arms. In today’s world that is limited to simians, i.e., monkeys and apes When they reach their arms up to accomplish this, they tighten the muscles in their chest and abdomen, which I surmise is the location of core. As I said, I am not sure. And with the propensity of my arm to lock into place … well ?
Since I can’t brachiate, I have to resort to using the stretchy band to pull toward my center from the side or alternately, without the band to imagine pushing my umbilicus (belly button) to my spine and holding it there for ten seconds ( 3 sets of 10). The latter can be done anywhere. I’m thinking that it might be just the activity for times when we are forced to sit still and be bored.
You will have to make your own list of times and places where that can apply.
And, yes, you may ask how exercise can help with Congressional gridlock. Both houses of Congress use the same gym. Instead of “gottcha” on the floor of either house, they might just consider competing for King of the Hill on machines, doing planks and developing core strength. All of our health will benefit from that exercise.