NORTH SYRACUSE — Losing a loved one is hard enough, but the social distancing rules required by the COVID-19 pandemic made mourning even harder last year when families could not gather to grieve.
“It was definitely hard having a funeral where we weren’t actually sure if people could come,” said Danielle Benjamin, who lost her brother-in-law, Mike Benjamin, to suicide in August 2020.
• Looking for a way to kill oneself
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
• Talking about being a burden to others
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
• Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
• Displaying extreme mood swings
The Benjamin family is close-knit. Danielle is married to Mike’s brother, Josh, and the family had an active group chat with their sisters, Ashley Benjamin and Heather Peters.
“We used to have a family chat with me, the two of them, and their two sisters. And we would talk every day,” Danielle said. “I miss that connection. I miss his energy.”
Danielle, who lives in North Syracuse, runs the travel blog Wanderlust on a Budget. To cope with Mike’s passing, Danielle has been open on social media about her grief. She connected with the Central New York chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and threw herself into local AFSP fundraisers such as One New York Cares, the Out of the Darkness Walk and Paws for Prevention.
“It’s hit me especially hard, so that’s why I’ve dived into doing something about it,” Danielle said.
Recently, the Benjamins were chatting with some friends at Sharkey’s in Liverpool, where they had made many memories over the years playing beach volleyball, refereeing games and grabbing drinks.
“I am not an athletic person in the slightest, but when I met my husband and we first started dating he was playing volleyball at Sharkey’s all the time,” Danielle said.
The Sharkey’s community has lost other loved ones to suicide — including the Benjamins’ cousin, BMX rider Dave Mirra — so the group decided to hold the Stay Strong Volleyball Tournament in their memory and raise money for AFSP. The “Stay Strong” moniker is a tribute to Mirra, who died in 2016.
The Stay Strong Volleyball Tournament takes place Saturday, Sept. 25, at The Beach at Sharkey’s, located at 7240 Oswego Road in Liverpool. Registration is $40 per person and includes lunch. Individual players will be matched with a four-person team. Visit thebeachatsharkeys.com/tournaments/142/details to register.
If you’d rather sit on the sidelines than spike and serve, feel free to attend to cheer your friends on, support AFSP and enjoy food and drink. The event also includes raffles for gift baskets from local businesses and 50/50.
“You don’t have to play in the tournament to come. There are plenty of friends and family we have who are just going to come out and grab a drink and grab lunch,” Danielle said. “Make it a positive day and support each other.”
