Derek Mark Kingdeski Foundation raises awareness about suicide

By Sarah Hall

Editor

Derek Kingdeski was strong.

At just 13, he deadlifted more than 1,000 pounds and benched over 400. He set a state record — more than 200 pounds over the existing record — in his age group. Friends on the West Genesee High School football team called him King Kong for his size, and because he’d stomp his feet like a gorilla after every sack.

But sometimes, even the mighty fall.

Derek Kingdeski died by suicide on May 29, 2015. He was 23 years old. He left behind a wife and two young sons, as well as his parents, MaryBeth Phelps and Mark Kingdeski, and legions of friends and loved ones.

“There’s that never-ending question of ‘Why?’” Mark Kingdeski said. “He had everything going for him. He was well-liked. He aimed to please everyone he came in contact with.”

Derek’s death was particularly stunning, as he had no known history of depression or mental illness. His father was determined to turn his grief into something productive.

“I never want another family to go through that type of devastation,” Mark Kingdeski said.

Last month, Kingdeski launched the Derek Mark Kingdeski Foundation for Suicide Prevention and Awareness, which is based in Baldwinsville. While the foundation was officially incorporated Aug. 19, 2016, it launched a website, got a phone number and appointed an executive director — G. Timothy Marte, chief practitioner at MARTEVATE Success Technologies and former corporate trainer — at the beginning of June.

“Really what we’re looking to do is influence and save lives,” Marte said. “It’s going to be one person at a time.”

In the wake of his son’s death, Mark Kingdeski immersed himself in research on suicide and mental health. He looked into suicide prevention organizations and, based on that research, decided there weren’t enough resources available for young people. That led him to create the DMK Foundation.

Kingdeski’s first step was to construct a place where kids could gather and programs for youth could be held. He took two acres he owned through his landscaping business, Kingdeski’s Landscaping and Nursery, and on it constructed an amphitheater, complete with a 20-foot speaker tower, control booth and a 1,500-square-foot brick stage and lawn seating for up to 2,000. The facility is located on Kingdom Road.

“He’s put all his heart and energy into the amphitheater,” Marte said. “We’re actually ready to start using that now.”

But the heart of the foundation’s mission is providing what Marte calls “emotionally based education.”

“We’re hoping to design a curriculum that’s going to be impactful,” he said.

Marte said that, while the foundation is looking to work with groups at all levels, including high school, college and government, DMK will most likely focus on school-age kids. The nonprofit’s board includes such experts as Syracuse University and Le Moyne College Professor Max Malikow, a nationally recognized expert on suicidology, and the director of St. Joseph’s Hospital and Health Center’s Comprehensive Psychiatric Emergency Program (C-PEP).

“We’re looking to have [them] help us with the educational content to ensure that it’s the latest information on suicidology,” Marte said.

While the curriculum has not yet been written, Marte said the focus will be on helping others recognize the signs of suicidal behavior in others, as well as encouraging those who are suicidal to get help and to understand that their own minds are working against them.

“[When they’re thinking] ‘Well, nobody is going to miss me…’ those feelings are not fact,” he said. “We have to try to change people’s thinking.”

In addition to the education program and the amphitheater, the foundation is also working on a football tournament fundraiser, a scholarship program and a 15-acre camp for young adults. But its first major event will be a “Last Comic Standing” fundraiser, set for September. Marte said such an event is needed to help get the nonprofit off the ground.

“First and foremost is fundraising,” he said. “We are a brand new startup… Money is coming out of the founder’s pocket or out of his small business. It’s extremely challenging when you’re trying to build up an organization like this.”

That funding is critical to providing the resources to carry out Mark Kingdeski’s mission: to prevent families from reliving his tragedy.

“His motto is to save one life — just to save one life,” Marte said. “That’s what he’s looking to do.”

Kingdeski is also leaving quite a legacy for his son. Marte said Derek himself was something of a champion of the underdog, so he’d be pleased to see his name attached to an endeavor like this.

“Knowing the little bit I know about Derek, he was always looking out for people,” he said. “If he knew someone was distraught and was hurting and they had nowhere to turn, he’d have a huge problem with that. He’d want to make sure somebody reached out to him if they were in need or in crisis.”